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Thursday October 26 2017
 8:30PM doors -- music at 9:30PM ••• ALL AGES
$10 in advance / $12 at the door
 Hellbent presents...
No Parents
  from L.A.
 punk rock garage
Sloppy Jane
from L.A. & Brooklyn, NY
 cacophony art rock            ----Grill Cloth is off the bill
Dumb Fucks

No Parents
Monte - drums
Ryan - guitar
Killian - bass
Zoe - vocals
Davis - guitar
-from Los Angeles, CA

-More than a few rumors have been circling about the members of Los Angeles punk band ‘No Parents’. Among them:

Frontman ZoŽ Reign is the only living member of the long extinct human subspecies, homo erectus. His cave-tatted and zaftig body was found perfectly preserved within a gigantic slab of dank resin, excavated from a North Hollywood backyard by a pair of teenaged twins, whom, in the throes of a Blue Dream-edible-induced bad trip, had become convinced that the ghost of G.G. Allin would haunt their local sesh spot were they not to unearth a mysterious object from behind their uncle’s ranch house.
Bassist Killian LeDuke is both blessed and cursed by his possession of a rare Poon-Slayer’s Statuette, which in appearance is not far off from the Venus of {look up}, but unlike that ancient artifact, is said to faintly emit the chorus of the Stooges’ “T.V. Eye”, a tune which grows louder if the object comes within the presence of a particularly bodacious babe. Accounts conflict on the actual psychophysical effects of the totem– make your own call if you ever come within 5-10 feet of Mr. LeDuke.
Guitarist Ryan McGuffin learned how to play his scintillating riffs from a group of hyperintelligent Fender-wielding crustaceans. One day while surfing Leo Carrillo during a super gnarly swell, he was pulled under (after getting way too pitted in a tube of opaque Pacific trash-water.) Rendered unconscious by a critical case of board-to-dome, he would have certainly perished beneath the waves had he not been furnished with scuba gear by the aforementioned rock lobsters. Somewhere along the line, the rumor goes, they taught him how to shred, but the details here are fuzzy, as it remains unclear how these clawed creatures could pluck a guitar string without snapping it, not to mention how an amp could function underwater. Monty, the drummer, is an alien.
Interesting as these rumors may be, their veracity is far beside the point. No Parents play rock and roll music and they play it well. Oh fuck yes they do.

Sloppy Jane
-from L.A. & Brooklyn, NY
-"Wednesday night’s show was opened by Sloppy Jane, who kicked off the night with a wild set. Frontwoman Haley Dahl relocated to Brooklyn from LA and recreated her band with a new lineup, which seems to be still evolving; there were seven members onstage at Knitting Factory, but there have been as many as eight. Before a cacophony of instrumentation (including a violin, a saxophone, and recorders), Haley, covered in paint and naked except for socks, was the main focus. When she wasn’t playing guitar she was directly confronting the audience or writhing on the floor." - Brooklyn Vegan

Dumb Fucks
-from Los Angeles, CA
-we play here and there around los angeles. gang affiliated.